Lou Swanson

“I can see your name is Lou,” the TV reporter confidently stated as he approached my grandfather outside of his beach cottage. The reporter looked up at the “Lou’s Haven” sign over the cottage door, and continued, “Can I get your last name, too, and then ask you a few questions?” He had come to do a story about some recent happenings at the beach, and had seen my grandfather puttering around outside.

All the beach cottages had names. Lou’s Haven sat next to the Patricia Lee and the Silver Sands, just down from the Pilot and the Open Deck, near the Summer Place and the Sandbox. In my grandfather’s case, Lou built the cottage. Lou named the cottage. Lou sold the cottage to my grandparents. But my grandfather was not Lou.

So with a mischievous gleam in his eye, my grandfather – Joe Connolly – responded, “Swanson. With an ‘O’. Lou Swanson,” and then proceeded to answer the reporter’s questions.

That night, after the segment aired with Joe Connolly’s face and “Lou Swanson” emblazoned across the bottom of the screen, the calls flooded in to my grandparents. Lou Swanson? Everyone wanted to know, why Lou Swanson? My grandfather’s response: “Well, the reporter didn’t seem interested in my real name, so I said ‘OK. Have it your way.’”

And my way is typically right on par with that reporter – making snap judgments and inferring things before gathering all the facts, before asking questions, and without taking time to listen. We are supposed to be quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19), but we tend to reverse the two so we are quick to speak and slow to listen.

I mean, who’s got time to be patient these days while someone drones on and on and on about their situation or what they are going through. Can’t we can make a few quick assumptions after they’ve said a couple of words, and solve the problem in three speedy bullet points? I’ve got a full schedule here! Time to move on to the next issue already!

How can you tell if you’re not listening? When you start finishing someone’s sentences for them, when you start thinking “Oh, I know where this is going” as someone starts talking, and when you assume someone’s name is Lou. 

Take heed and listen up, because as the Message Bible so eloquently puts it, “Answering before listening is both stupid and rude” (Proverbs 18:13).

Wicked Smaht Married People

My friends Kelly and Brad asked me to speak at their wedding recently and define what marriage means by reflecting on the story of Jesus changing water into wine (John 2:1-10). Such trusting souls. Here is the full scripture passage and my reflection.

But first, you'd better brush up on your Boston accent, so repeat after me, "Pahk yoah cah in Hahvahd yahd." - Sean

Jesus Changes Water to Wine (John 2:1-10)
On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus' mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus' mother said to him, "They have no more wine."

"Dear woman, why do you involve me?" Jesus replied, "My time has not yet come."
His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you."

Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus said to the servants, "Fill the jars with water"; so they filled them to the brim. Then he told them, "Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet."

They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside and said, "Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now."

*****

When Kelly and Brad asked me to reflect on this passage to help define what marriage means, I was initially baffled, and was more than happy to quote Jesus: “Why do you involve me?” I mean, between the two of them, there’s an engineer and a Hahvahd grad, so they are like, wicked smaht. They should be able to figure out what marriage means on their own, right?

But to define marriage, we should start by quoting Mary: “Do whatever he tells you” - the “he” referring to Jesus, of course . . . not Brad.

And what does Jeusus tell us? Love your neighbor as yourself (Matt 22:37-39). Love your enemies (Matt. 5:44). Love each other as I have loved you (John 15:12). This is my command: Love each other (John 15:17).

Love, love, love love, love, love, love.

Do everything in love (1 Cor 16:14).

Jesus’ miracle at the wedding is an excellent demonstration of what true love is supposed to be about – He did not draw attention to Himself, and His miracle was really for the benefit and enjoyment of others.

But for us, true love is not automatic. Typically, as individuals, we all tend to be self-seeking, get easily angered, and keep a laundry list of the wrongs committed against us. For love to be patient, kind, trusting, hopeful and always persevering (1 Cor. 13:4-7), and to truly understand the love that God has for everyone, He knows we all need a tangible example of what love is all about.

So, God brings people together in marriage to change them for the better, like water into wine. You will each help to change the other, shoring up weaknesses through the other’s strengths, filing off each other’s rough edges, holding each other accountable, and just enjoying the journey. You’ll each still be you, but thanks to the influence of your spouse, you’ll become better as an individual because of the qualities that God has brought together in the two of you as a whole.

Marriage personifies love – the love that Jesus asks us all to demonstrate to each other, and the love that God demonstrated to all of us through Jesus – unconditional, ongoing, and sacrificial. Your marriage is the demonstration of what love is all about, and therefore, it is your ministry and your witness to others.

So, if someone wonders what this “love your neighbor” thing is all about, or is curious about how they are supposed to “love each other as Jesus loved us,” they should be able to see you two – how you treat each other and how you treat other people; the example you set - even if you never say a word - and say “Ohhhhh, yeah. I get it,” even if that person is not like, wicked smaht.